It may look nice to say during a job interview that you are a perfectionist, but in practice it is nothing. You better get rid of it, explains psychologist Liesbet Boone at HLN.
Boone even calls perfectionism a disease. “I compare it to the husk of a chestnut,” she says. “Just as those sharp spikes on the outside protect the fruit, perfectionism saves us from what we fear so much: the fear of not being good enough in the eyes of others or ourselves.”
She explains: “In my practice I often hear stories of people who are stuck in their pursuit of perfection. Whose perfectionism takes up so much time that there is no room left for a social life or hobbies. Or who refuse certain assignments out of fear of failure, as a result of which they miss out on great growth opportunities professionally and financially. Others are so busy performing that they do not enjoy their achievements at all.”
Less happy
What they have in common? “These people are constantly confirmed in the idea that they do not meet their own ideal.” And that doesn’t make them happy. “Research shows that people with perfectionism are more often less productive and less satisfied than people without perfectionism. Somewhere very logical: if the bar is set very high, it is not easy to meet those expectations. It can then feel safer to keep postponing a task – and thus avoid the risk of failure (for a while). In psychology, this phenomenon is called self-handicapping.”
“Perfectionism can therefore prevent us from being ourselves, using our full potential and daring to choose what we think is important,” concludes Boone. How then? The psychologist advises “optimism.” “I see it as a sliding scale, with perfectionism on one side and optimalism on the other. The difference in a nutshell: perfectionism is focused on others – what do they expect from me? – while optimalism starts from within yourself: What do I want? What do I need? How can I improve? You do not strive for the perfect result, but for the best possible result.”
