Due to a bizarre accumulation of setbacks, 40-year-old Eveline van Ham from Eindhoven is in trouble. When her 44-year-old husband dies of esophageal cancer a year and a half ago, she is left alone with three small children. Not much later, their newborn son Olivier turns out to have a very rare condition. As a result, he has developmental delays and severe epileptic seizures.
Olivier ends up in the hospital due to his condition. Eveline then realizes that she has to arrange something for her three children Bent, Beertje and Olivier. “A piggy bank for when they want to go to college. But also for, for example, an extension to the house. After all, it is unknown whether Olivier will ever walk or talk. So he always needs help and space.” says Eveline to Studio040.
Eveline notices that her social network is starting to become somewhat exhausted due to intensive care for Olivier. “So I am largely dependent on myself. I still rely on neighbors, but everyone else logically goes their own way. I notice that I mainly rely on professional help.”
“I’m only now getting time to mourn for Dave.”
She is therefore very happy that Olivier can now go to Villa ExpertCare in Waalre. Children with a serious or chronic illness live or stay there. “That is a great relief for me. There is now some space for myself. I only now have time to mourn Dave.”
Now that Olivier no longer lives at home, she can finally sleep through the night again. Yet every day she has the feeling that she must survive. “I can’t cry. I can’t scream. I’m always busy with Bent and Beertje in the back of my mind. Of course they also demand the necessary attention. I want to give them love and not a hysterical mother who doesn’t know it all anymore. Epilepsy disrupts the lives of all of us.”
It is still too early for work, Eveline admits honestly. “I really want to get back to work, but the unrest and concerns surrounding Olivier are still too great. First, the right antiepileptic medication must be determined.”
“I don’t get around to anything and I hardly have any social contacts.”
Eveline misses her work, not only because of the income, but she also wants to get back to people. “My world is very small now. I don’t get anywhere and I hardly have any social contacts. I’m constantly on.”
On November 5 last year, exactly one year after Dave’s funeral, Olivier stuck in his epileptic fit. “There were all kinds of doctors in the house and a trauma helicopter was a little further away. A breathing tube was placed in his trachea and he was taken to the hospital. There he was kept in an artificial coma for 24 hours.”
That is why Eveline now wants an epilepsy dog for her son. “It is very important that we know in time when he is having a seizure. Such a dog is trained to help people with epilepsy. They can sense when a seizure is coming and have learned to warn someone. to a safe place.”
“Sometimes I wonder how I managed to keep up with all this.”
These dogs are very expensive. “The purchase costs about 21,000 euros,” says Eveline: “It is still unclear to me whether I have to pay for this myself or whether the municipality or health insurance will pay.”
Eveline sounds emotional. “One moment I was busy with the end of Dave and the next moment with the start of Olivier. Sometimes I wonder how I was able to keep up with all this.”
