The preventative pañolada of the Rossoneri curve…

On National Food Waste Prevention Day (February 5) it would have been really unfortunate if we had indulged in some binge: even in non-culinary areas. So the Nerazzurri who, unlike other rivals, have shown that they know style and observance, under the banner of “W frugality” willingly adapted to the mantra of the day, forfeiting the 3 derby points thanks to a “waste” minimum of networks. Even if, completely unexpectedly, a Tatarusanu in the Carnesecchi version (just to stay on the edible theme …) has put a lot of him into it.

On the barricade, pardon, on the opposite table, the other citizen diners seemed completely unaware of particular anniversaries of the calendar, while instead the social avant-gardes exuded a certain cosmic pessimism. To such an extent that, in the imminence of the kick-off of the Milanese derby there was the well-founded sensation that the Curva Sud Milano – in a regurgitation of unusual awareness – could produce a clamorous preventive pañolada. A sort of AC Milan declination of the famous admonition: “Don’t shoot at the red…black cross”. If only because the Milan of the latest releases (in any way you want to understand them…), increasingly derelict and perforated, would have presented themselves to the derby in the worst possible organic conditions. In other words, deprived for 3/4 – leaving out the chronic habitués of the infirmary such as Ibrahimovic and Florenzi – of the backbone of the starting lineup: the goalkeeper (Maignan), the central defense (Tomori) and the “thinking” one in midfield (Bennacer).

As that wasn’t enough, in the long run-up to the derby the urban legend had also spread according to which the main places of worship in the city of Milan had been stormed by swarms of Rossoneri faithful. Evidently all last-minute converts and therefore encouraged to crowd churches and oratories, avoiding attending only the cenacles (of prayer): but for mere logistical reasons… Who, therefore, participating in the religious function on Saturday evening, who at the first mass of the Sunday morning or again – the inevitable latecomers – only at the evening homily on a public holiday… All intent, with utmost hypocrisy, in praising and lighting votive candles in order to recommend to the Blessed Sacrament, at least for 24 hours, the psychophysical health of their only reliable centre-forward: Olivier Giroud. Because, clearly, there would have been no trust in Origi and his first misleading prodigies (forgive me the “poetic” digression in rhyme…). In fact, it was rumored that Okereke from Cremona – already last Sunday – had promptly reproached his Belgian colleague for the misappropriation of his ballistic copyright exhibited against Inter… Poor devils: devotees so much per kg and now even plagiarists unpunished!

According to a parallel narration, however, other Rossoneri fans – more prosaically attached to the theory of Giambattista Vico’s “historical courses and recurrences” – would have confided in the fact that the return derby would be scheduled for precisely the same date as that – for them pleasure-loving – of February 5 last year. Therefore with an outcome such as to add – according to their auspices – to the other favorable ball coincidences already matured in the current season: such as Argentina “campeon mundial”, Naples (almost) scudetto and Cremonese qualified for the semi-finals of the Italian Cup, exactly like 36 years ago. Except that Giroud’s twists and turns don’t always happen on the Rossoneri wheel in Milan. And then none of the counterparty – not even the most extremist of fans – would have dared to imagine that Pioli would invent a mirror image with his Nerazzurri colleague, adopting his own tactical module with a derby just around the corner. With the consequent initial renunciation of his most decisive player up to now, Leao, and the ownership assigned to that upstart from Origi.

And so it was that, after almost 150 games (source Transfermarkt) set on the register of 4-2-3-1, the much-vaunted Pioli, but in a pusillanimous version not even Don Abbondio – now even his mentor Sacchi seems to have repented. .. – he gave himself body and soul to the nerazzurri with an improvised 3-5-2 formation: which then, in reality, turned out to be an authentic 5-3-2 fort. When all the insiders had instead predicted a less distorting form like the 4-3-3. In other words, the tactical disposition that had accompanied the first matches of the Emilian coach on the Rossoneri bench in the autumn of 2019. Only that the poor results of the time had soon led him (except for a brief but profitable interregnum of the 4-4-2) to close the tactical experiments definitively converting to the aforementioned 4-2-3-1. Decision taken precisely in conjunction with his 1st Milanese derby, won in a comeback by Conte’s Nerazzurri 4-2 on 9 February 2020. Now it is not known whether Pioli will be given the opportunity to repeat a form that mirrors Simone’s Inzaghi or if he will be put in a position not to cause further damage to the AC Milan cause through his exemption. Their duties!

Rather, having to close all this long babylon of sarcastic anecdotes – more or less truthful – on the (missing) “magnificent and progressive fortunes” of the Rossoneri, it would only remain to verify whether there will be a possible appendix to the derby even among the conductors of tip of Mediaset. For example, AC Milan player Gerry Scotti could bear witness to great self-irony (others would call it “intellectual honesty” …) by trying to convince Piersilvio di him to interrupt the early evening game program of the Inter player Paolo Bonolis for at least one episode (Next another …). Just to make room for a special edition of his “Free Fall”, a title more than ever in line with the most recent vicissitudes of Casa Milan. Naturally summoning as special guests all the Rossoneri group led by Pioli in the obvious guise of defending champion… There really shouldn’t be any technical problems with live television, given that the episodes of Bonolis’ program were clearly recorded in the summer period: the it would be deduced from the anything but “punishment” look of the competitors and from the equally sleeveless one of the male counterparts.

But in Cologno Monzese it seems that “transparency” is a must only for the clothing of the female presence in the studio, but it is not really part of the editorial line of that television group… of “Le Iene” or of the so-called satirical news “Striscia la Notizia” dedicated to the chronic conflict of interest of the impresario from Arcore?