Willemsen, 48, is terminally ill: lung cancer. “When I found out, he was awful,” he says. “I stopped working, it wasn’t possible at the time.” He had his own general practice, which he gave up. “I was very sad and it was very difficult.”
She didn’t make that decision to stop working on her own, which is exactly her point. “I found a good coach, with whom I speak every three months to come up with a new plan. It is very important to have a good guide if you are terminally ill, talk about what you still want in life and how you will allocate it that time.
Last stage of life
This is how Mirjam came to the conclusion that it would be better for her to abandon the practice and start working self-employed, so that she could organize her time and working days according to what she was and what she wasn’t. She shakes her head. “I’m also treated in the hospital, but it talks about treatment. My goals are not enough, the quality of life after treatment. This is a piece of palliative care that I want to highlight the most, which is discussed more about it needs to be.”
Because as a general practitioner, Willemsen knows better than anyone how important it is to talk about what someone still wants in life. “About how someone wants to spend their last stage of life and what the dying process should look like. As a primary care physician, I very often deal with situations where people die suddenly or are terminally ill and have a long illness. I can easily separate it from my private situation and think that’s a very beautiful part of my job – to give someone a good end and guide them well in that ultimate end of life.” The primary care physician is co-writing a new guideline on “proactive care planning.”
Great uncertainty
What Mirjam noticed, once she sat at home after giving up the practice, was that it was very important for her to participate in society. “This is a big part of everyone’s social life. I found myself sitting at home, but my friends were at work and my kids were at school. I was lonely; I wanted to get a coffee, but no one was around. It was It’s very important for me to get back to work.”
At the beginning of her illness, Mirjam found it difficult to talk about death, but “it gets easier when you come back to it more often”. “It gives me reassurance now that I know what I want and have put things on paper. I can decide for myself how to leave my family.” The only thing he still has trouble with is the great uncertainty. “Not knowing how long you can go on like this and what to expect. That worries me more than how long it will take.”
