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© btv |
45-year-old Alexandra Shekhtova is looking for the beginning of her story. The first 6 years of her life were spent in an orphanage. She also has two failed adoptions ahead of her when she arrives at her adoptive parents’ home. There are only a few photos of her throughout her childhood. Alex’s story has many unknowns, but the main ones are where she was born and who her biological parents are.
Alex shared part of his story with Petya Dikova in hopes he would find out who he is.
She was born on October 13, 1977, in Kardzhali or Haskovo.
“Fate has an amazing imagination. The name I received after birth is Danaila. In the house where I was, they called me Danny. Alexandra Shekhtova is the person who was “born” after the adoption. I don’t know where I was born – according to the documents, it was originally in Samokov, then in Haskovo,” says the woman, who is looking for her origins.
“When I arrived at Haskovo’s house – at the age of 3-4, I was blond and blue-eyed, fair-skinned. But in just one night I darkened – I turned brown with brown eyes. This is probably a reaction to abandonment,” shares Alex.
In the orphanage where she grows up, she experiences her childhood terrors, which transform her into a sadly smiling woman. In the first 6 years of her life, she lived in physical violence and fear.
The days at home, where she is hosted, pass strictly according to the schedule, at full capacity: it happens at certain times, you check if anyone has gone to bed. When there is one, she takes her punishment: a beating. At breakfast everyone receives half a portion and is not entitled to another. At the same time, the toilets were permanently closed, even when the children were out in the courtyard. They are only unlocked at certain times. Why remains unclear.
“When you feel aggression, violence and perversion, you can’t help but smile. Caresses, warm attitude and tenderness – there weren’t any. Rudeness and aggression struck me the most, but at some point the beatings too they stop impressing you. You wait for the next dose of abuse until it’s time to eat,” says Alex, who recently detailed his life in a book. Again, in the hope that someone recognizes a detail in her story and she picks up the pieces of life that are missing.
The children of the orphanage have developed an aversion to certain tastes and foods. Alex has one for olives. After bowls of olives were served in the evening, the children were forced to eat them with the pits. There were also threats: there shouldn’t be a single bone on the ground.
I remember one Christmas the children of the orphanage were taken for a walk around the city. Alex then realized that the world was very different and big, she was impressed by the Christmas lights and the open space.
Alex’s fate gave her three adoptions. However, in the first case, the people who wanted to adopt her died in an accident, the second failed, and the third adoption has already officially taken place. After him, she ended up in Samokov.
The best childhood memory for Alex is the moment of adoption. “What kid doesn’t want to walk away from a place like this and have a family and a home, comfort, a mother and a father? And not fall asleep with the toilets closed in the dark,” he says.
Alex hopes that if anyone recognizes her in this story, they’ll find the courage to share it.
“As time passes, the fewer people left alive who have information about my birth since that time,” says Alex.
My adoptive father was quite an influential person in Samokov: an honorary citizen of the city, head of the financial department. His name was Vasil Nikolov Shehtov, and my mother Donka Angelova Shehtova and I bear their surname.
Alexandra Shekhtova writes a book which she dedicates to her biological mother.
“If this book falls into your hands or anyone who can recognize anything from a story they know, I’d be happy for them to contact me.” This book is also for biological parents who have given up their children and parenthood.
The law does not allow adoptees to find their roots and understand where their life began. He discriminates against us, I don’t have my identity. This novel will not be interesting in Western Europe, because there the topic of adoption is presented differently. When anyone here finds out I’m adopted, they’re like, “Oh, sorry!” Why do they apologize to me? My destiny just started from some orphanage. Or they say, ‘Oh, but she’s adopted, who knows what blood her is, what her parents are,’” says Alex.
He doesn’t understand people who have decided to adopt a child, but then encountered difficulties and decided to give it up.
“But I am not a commodity for your return. Failure is for you as a parent, the child is not a problem. If you give birth to a problem child in time, will you leave him? These children are not seen as a commodity , but for the adoptee – everything,” comments Alex.
Alex wishes Christmas to get to the bottom of this story and find his biological parents.
His last hope is you. If his story is familiar to you, contact us – write to news@btv.bg. Alexandra has a case planned in the Kardzhali court – she turned to the lawyer Zhaneta Byulekova, who has extensive experience in cases to reveal the origin.
In Bulgaria, perhaps, the last unchanged law in the whole of Europe remained, which does not allow access to information of adopted children about their biological parents.
