The State Duma Committee on Family, Women and Children held a meeting of the All-Russian Union “Social Blogger”. Following the event, the chairman of the committee, Nina Ostanina, proposed registering Russian bloggers with the Ministry of Justice, issuing them certificates and developing a code of ethics for a blogger. The scope of the idea seemed so delicious in terms of idiocy to me that I gladly accepted the development.
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Three bottles of beer were enough for me to formulate the main idea of u200bu200bthe Russian blogosphere. It sounds a little pretentious, so the Duma will no doubt approve: what a sober man has on his mind, a drunkard has on his tongue. Certificates should be issued solely on the basis of a certificate confirming that its bearer is an alcoholic, that is, he is not lying. All the others are false opportunists and varnishers of an intoxicating reality. To collect signatures, I went to Rublyovka, where blogger Valeria Chekalina (Lerchek) celebrated her birthday.
I didn’t like the party at first sight. Economic Provincial. The audience is also from the infogypsy camp: Elena Blinovskaya, creator of the Marathon of Wishes, make-up artist Gohar Avetisyan and influencer Nadine Serovski, who earns money in marathons for women’s happiness. All these granddaughters of Leni Golubkov did not inspire any confidence in me, except for a firm belief in their moral impurity.
– Samba from the white moth, – as if reading my thoughts, Valery Meladze howled from the stage.
Good choice! How many of these moths did he and his brother shoot down in the 1990s on the dark streets of their native Ukraine. What samba, rumba and cha-cha-cha these butterflies did in saunas and baths for a plate of borscht with dumplings. Where are the current influencers.
Flowers and berries
That’s who I was definitely happy to meet, so this is Philip Kirkorov. At a recent concert in Alma-Ata, well, where else can a full-blooded Bulgarian sing today, Kirkorov came out in tights over his underwear. The sign, it must be said, is bad. These leggings are a talisman. He wears them when he’s really pressed. And he never erases, so as not to wash away the magical properties of the accessory. Therefore, at the forefront, many feel uncomfortable, which only supports the myth of the great power of art. Leggings are all that remains from their life together with Alla Borisovna.
So in Alma-Ata, the front rows did not feel the magical influence. Philip Bedrosovich’s assistant stretched out his trousers. It was this manifestation of sincere concern that caused the wrath of the king of pop, who flogged a too lively upstart with a bouquet of roses. Video of the incident went viral on the Internet.
But soon the supporters took pity on the peasant. Roses were just flowers. The berries he received in the royal suite after the concert can only be digested by a person with very strong digestion.
– Horse sausage is something with something, – Filya shared her impressions of hospitable Kazakhstan.
Not wanting to hear the details of the artist’s acquaintance with the meat product, I hid behind the curtain out of harm’s way. There I was met by a representative of the proud steppe peoples, comedian Nurlan Saburov.
“Put your sausage on that tall man,” I proudly got out of a sticky situation.
– I actually work here, – as proof, the guest worker presented a weather vane swinging on a long pole in the shape of Catherine Barnabas.
– Worms, – I quickly diagnosed the painful thinness of the television personality. – It is necessary to drink more red and vodka.
Overjoyed, the artist immediately jumped onto the stage, jumping on it with happiness, occasionally lifting her skirt and exposing her bony ass to the appreciative audience. Suddenly her legs opened into a string. There was a crack.
“God, how my groin hurts, I can’t convey,” Katya groaned to the delight of her colleagues.
Having just closed the horse, the star held an auction where pieces of a birthday cake from blogger Lerchek’s birthday were reproduced. The first was sold to an unknown person for 1.7 million rubles. According to the blogger’s husband Artem Chekalin, they donated all the proceeds from the sale to charity. I mean, drunk. But the second piece went to Meladze, who greedily ate it from the unwashed hands of a filthy girl.
– You came, you work for food, – I sympathized with the artist from the bottom of my heart.
The chewing singer tried to justify himself, choked on his fee and was carried away by a moth backstage.
Touch point
By this time, the guests had already relaxed enough to talk about their high social role in the state.
– How many blow jobs do you need per week to maintain your current lifestyle? they asked each other.
This was the question blogger Anastasia Ivanovskaya raised before a meeting of the State Duma’s Committee on Family, Women and Children. Her colleagues then disagreed on the evaluation, which is why the whole meeting fell apart. And I suddenly understood why deputies and bloggers will never find a common language. In this matter they are on different, so to speak, sides of the barricades, and the point of contact of their interests is one, and this barrel is by no means bottomless.
The tragic find had to be washed down with three dry whites. Meladze’s face, smeared with cream and lipstick, no longer seemed so repulsive to me, and Filya, with her collection of sausages, also looked much more traditional than all this influencer foam that surrounded us old men.
– Fuuuu, – I blew at Lerchek.
But she didn’t fly away. The magic didn’t happen. After all, life is not a glass of beer for you.
Photo source: Larisa Kudryavtseva
