There are many conflicts between men and women that are difficult to avoid even between lovers or couples who have been together for a long time. In particular, they often argue because they feel that communication is not good.
This is often due to the fact that a relatively “simple” man does not understand a woman’s language which is “complex” to the extent that other meanings are hidden. Professor Chang-ok Kim, a popular communication lecturer, He pointed out that there are many couples who struggle because of the different languages of men and women.
Usually when shopping together, when a woman asks a woman which clothes fit her best, men usually reply “looks good” without thinking too much. However, this may seem indifferent to women, and Professor Kim explains that women are actually looking for answers as to how and what specifically suits them.
Why men and women have different brains …
This difference in language between men and women has already been demonstrated by neuroscience. The human brain is made up of several centers and one of the central centers is the “language center”. The language center refers to a specific area of the cerebral cortex that controls the production and understanding of language. Because of this, what you hear and what you say has a big impact on your life.
According to a study by the University of California Department of Neuropsychiatry, the average human’s speech center has been reported to tire after using 7,000 words per day. On the other hand, the average woman’s linguistic backbone has the feeling that she is conversing and communicating correctly when she uses 20,000 words a day.
◆ If we meet for a long time, is it normal to argue?
Usually, when we first start dating, we rarely argue over dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is produced a lot in the early stages of falling in love and plays a role in transmitting the excitation of nerve cells in the brain.
Because of this, they accept each other’s complaints, and even men with active dopamine secretion behave excessively kindly, like taking them long distances.
Even if the distance is inefficient from a rational point of view. It is because of this dopamine that it has been said that any difficulty can be overcome with the power of love.
However, the dopamine release period is limited at the start of a relationship. Therefore, over a long period of time, in the case of men, they are very likely to become more indifferent and rational. It’s just a return to the original self.
However, despite a decrease in dopamine as they get used to each other, well-connected couples have surprising characteristics. The secret is ‘self-esteem’.
If you get used to the other person instead of loving them passionately, you will treat them as when you treat yourself. In other words, it means acting “as I treat” with the person you love.
Therefore, people with high self-esteem will treat each other with respect, and if each other has high self-esteem, this relationship can be filled with positive communication and treatment without hot dopamine. 
