Do we want things other than a romantic relationship as we get older?
“There are five languages of love: giving compliments, giving gifts, spending time together, doing something for the other person and showing affection. The older you get, the more important the language of care becomes. I also notice it in myself. And I’m talking about romantic relationships, but also about platonic relationships. I’m quicker to take someone’s favorite dessert with me when I visit, to make fresh soup for my kids, or to cancel the party if the other person has a headache and prefers to stay at home. ” God Liekens from.
Is it true the cliché that we become more demanding in relationships?
“I don’t have that feeling. You know best what you want and what you absolutely don’t want. You can hardly classify it under challenging. For example, I feel much more tolerant than before. When I met someone who saw their car as a status symbol, I thought, “Hm, a snob, no thanks”. Now I can report it more easily. That car is part of his personality of him or just wants to show that he made it in life. Have you ever been upset that your partner is always late or dresses poorly? Then you think: very important “.
“I also see older people who decide to no longer live together as a form of obedience. It means that there is more openness in the relationship and that the classic pattern can be broken. You give yourself the freedom to say, ‘Honey, I love you, but now I want to spend three days alone.’ “
Getting older teaches you to put things in perspective, but a cancer diagnosis really gives you a kick in the ass.
What if you want to go out with someone but don’t know how to get started?
“Go outside. Pick something you like. Join a walking club, take a cooking class, check out a darts or puzzle club. Do something new that widens your circle of friends a little. Forget it.” past and have fun. I took some golf lessons myself, but I didn’t have any particular talent for it. Even a dog is a good idea. Maurice literally pulls me out. dating sites and the apps work fine too, apparently. Obviously I haven’t tried them myself, you have it with a familiar face. If you find someone you like, don’t take them too seriously. You have to eat anyway. Plan that lunch or dinner. You don’t have to marry him right away. “
And what about sex in dating over 50?
“Happens more than we think, fortunately. Beware of sexually transmitted diseases. We are not a generation of condoms. The HIV panic has overtaken us. Syphilis was the most dangerous sexually transmitted disease, but it is treatable. If you start dating again after age 50 and suddenly have to start having sex with condoms, it often brings with it shyness and stiffness. But anyway, be careful with that I do not care in that zone”. says Goedele Liekens.
How would you like to see your love life evolve?
“Corona is over and skin cancer is under control. I’m in a sniffing period, great! I can be fine alone, which is an advantage and a disadvantage. Because obviously life is more fun when there is someone special you can do things with together. Attending a festival or party with friends is always more fun with just the two of you. It is nice at any age to be able to share these things with a loved one ”.
“What surprises me is that peers think it’s crazy that they can still fall in love like they did when they were young. You can do this at any age headlong and fall in love with someone without a safety parachute on their back. Maybe you can better manage the love chemicals in your brain as you get older. You are better armed against that inevitable transition from passionate infatuation to socialization. You know that this is the normal course of events and that after falling in love you will enter a deeper love phase. ”Says Goedele Liekens.
Are you struggling to get old?
“Not really. The only alternative is to die. And I fought just as hard not to die. Where can I sign to get old? Obviously you want to age as well as possible. I take care of myself, I always eat fresh soup and eat lots of vegetables. It was different before my illness. For example, I did arm muscle exercises for five minutes every day for two months. The difference is noticeable, both in the firmness of my arms and in my mood. I try to do little things that I do. they make me feel good about myself and my body. The older you get, the less important your physical appearance is. You realize that your body is just a fragile shell. But you have to keep taking care of it. “explains Goedele Liekens.
“My mind appears to be intact. I was worried that the cancer treatment would make me less alert, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Getting older teaches you to put things in perspective, but a cancer diagnosis really gives you a kick in the ass. “Pleasantly important” is a phrase that runs through my head like a mantra. I have wrinkles, gray hair and a scratch on my car. Who cares? An aging person lives a lot, especially in love. The great thing is that every failed relationship teaches you something. At least, if you dare to look at that piece of your past. Really look. “
Does life get better?
“It seems so. I sincerely hope so. For the first time in months, I feel the energy of the past. I was afraid to always carry some of the consequences of that disease with me, but I got over it. My ambitions are as alive as before. I will probably never slow down. It’s in the genes, my parents are just the same. I still want to do many things. And these ambitions can also be far beyond politics or the media. Maybe I’ll grow flower bulbs! Chances are good that I will meet such wonderful and new people ”. laughs Goedele Liekens.
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Who are you inspired by?
“My parents are my role model. They are each other’s first love and this summer they celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary. Their relationship advice is simple: do little things for each other. Prepare a coffee for your partner, bring their favorite cake, take the newspaper from the mailbox … procrastinate being kind. Expensive gifts are also not mandatory. “
