Selah Sue candid in Facebook post: “Rebuilding antidepressants is only option, it saves my life”

The full Facebook post:

I’m going through hell.

A plaything of infernal mood swings.
Left is how I feel at a good time. To the right is the state of being that has increasingly prevailed in recent months.

Worst post ever, this. But feel I have to share. After the release of ‘PILLS’ I got 1000s of reactions from people who recognized themselves in my story about antidepressants.
I had expressed myself very hopeful in the media that this time – fourth attempt in 14 years – I could successfully quit. If it doesn’t work I would let you know.
I feel I owe everyone I gave hope then to finish the story. Or sue.

The first months without AD were wonderful. As if a bell jar came off of me. Everything came in ten times as hard and I enjoyed unseen creative and emotional heights.
The psychedelic path, sports and meditation helped strengthen that feeling, so that I thought I was stronger than ever.

After about six months, darkness crept in again, totally unannounced and for no apparent reason. I woke up with inexplicable terror and was catapulted from heaven to hell in a matter of weeks.

Initially I could still ‘wear’ it by going for a daily jog with all the positive experiences I had with psychedelics, mindfulness and daily jogging. But it soon became too big. Too dominant. Unbearable.

Pure brain chemistry says my psychiatrist. Unfortunately not much to do with a select number of people. Rebuilding with AD was the only option. And again, like 14 years ago, I feel it saves my life.

Day 25 now. The all-consuming darkness is slowly starting to clear, but the pain is still there. A hellish intermediate stage but I know from experience that it gets better. To persevere.
I now look forward to feeling just ‘ok’ again. Enjoy the little things. Balance. I am hopeful because I have had a happy beautiful life under medication for 14 years. I ask myself the question in ‘PILLS’ but I now know the answer for myself:
Rather a stable, slightly flattened emotional life with pills, than a life with explosive ups & desperate downs without pills.

I was able to continue to fulfill my role as artist and mother relatively ‘sufficiently’ in recent months thanks to the support of my incredible partner and all my entourage on tour. You are gold.

Furthermore, as a godmother of Crazy!? keep repeating: Break the taboo about mental suffering, most of us will have to get through it sooner or later. Then be surrounded, talk about it. Actively seek connection and help. There is always hope.

To anyone going through a difficult time; I think of you. I feel you. I love you. It gets better, keep hope.

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