Although she asked about another topic, a woman is being supported for sharing that her husband refuses to contribute to her in vitro fertilization (IVF) fund, as he says she is “the one with the problem.”
The original author (OP), u/throwra5755557, initially asked her if she was wrong in demanding her husband’s best friend to return the money he gave her from the IVF fund in her post “AITA for getting back the money my husband took of our IVF treatment. and he gave it to her friend? » She got over 7,000 upvotes and 1,500 comments in four hours for her problem.
She says the most recent time her husband threw the IVF fund at her was when she found out he had taken most of the money — $7,000 out of $11,000 — to lend to his best friend she’s known since high school. The reason? The friend complained about his car being “old and junk”, so the OP’s husband took it upon himself to lend him the money to buy a new one.
“I was beyond furious. I asked him if he really thought that was okay and he told me that I shouldn’t worry and he guaranteed that his friend will pay us back on time. I lost control and immediately demanded his friend give me my money back and threatened to involve the police if he refused,” he wrote.
The money was indeed returned, but the friend was upset by the threat to involve the police. Her husband insulted her again, saying that she was “unhinged and selfish.”
He added that the couple have had fertility problems for years and had just tried a round of IVF. At the time, although she paid most of it, her husband put up $2-3,000, she says. But for the possible second round, she put up all the money, including her father’s inheritance, while he refused to pay a dime.
“I told him that I saved some of this money/used my inheritance for this treatment while he put nothing up even though we’re in this together. He ‘corrected’ me by saying that I’m the one with the problem and he thought it’s only fair that I ‘compensate’ for it by paying for IVF myself. This hurt me so much and I couldn’t argue anymore,” he wrote.
In a comment, he shared more information.
«I always wanted to be a mother and he knows how much pain I carry due to my struggle to have children, but he keeps throwing this line in my face in every fight we have. It is exhausting and it seems that he will always endure ». this over my head,” he wrote.
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IVF is a popular, albeit expensive, method for a couple facing fertility problems to have a child of their own. The couple’s eggs and sperm are collected and then mixed in a laboratory to fertilize the eggs. Once this happens, a fertilized embryo is placed in the uterus.
However, this isn’t certain: To get pregnant, the embryo has to implant in the lining of the uterus, according to Planned Parenthood. Although some couples are lucky, many times an embryo does not attach during the first round of IVF. It’s also quite expensive, with Planned Parenthood estimating the cost at up to $15,000 per round.
Father Chris Lawson said news week about his experience with IVF, which was successful, but only after five years of trying.
“We were creating a good number of embryos, but nothing was happening when they were implanted; we weren’t getting pregnant. It becomes almost like this cruel game of roulette, where you realize that the more spins of the wheel you have, the more likely a pregnancy will occur. But when it doesn’t work, it’s hard and you have to dust yourself off and try again, hoping you don’t run out of money,” Lawson wrote.
IVF has also proven to be a popular topic on Reddit, but most of these posts are about people refusing to offer the money for IVF treatments for their family or friends. Reddit usually backs the person who pulls the strings of the wallet, as in the case of a woman who started her own business instead of paying for her sister’s IVF, or a man who refused to give up his share from his father’s inheritance to pay for his sister’s procedure.
In addition, the recent decision of the Supreme Court that annulled Roe contra Wade, which guaranteed the right to abortion, could also result in IVF being banned in 30 states. Since IVF involves the fertilization of eggs, it is unclear whether disposing of unused fertilized eggs would violate anti-abortion laws.
Although u/throwra5755557 asked about the $7,000 loan, Reddit focused more on her husband refusing to contribute to the IVF fund and her comment that she was “the one with the problem.”
“I hate to say it but… you should run,” u/MaybeAWalrus wrote in the top-rated comment, with over 7,500 upvotes. “This man does not respect you. How can he say something so hurtful to the person he’s supposed to love? If this is really what he thinks of you, he doesn’t deserve you.” [Not the A**hole].»
“OP, as someone with [Polycystic ovary syndrome] that I’ll probably need medical intervention if I ever want to have a baby… don’t do this to yourself. You are not broken, and you do NOT need to settle for someone who treats you like crap to have a family,” she wrote u/sapphicsapphires. “Think carefully about whether this is the type of man you would want as the father figure for his children. The kind that treats women as flawed for fertility reasons? The guy who will always put friends first and steal from you. You deserve more. Good luck.”
“He keeps doing this? That is so painful. I don’t want to be an idiot, but does he really love you? Is he lashing out because he wants a child too, but he can’t handle his own pain? I really think everyone needs to get into this by talking and counseling because if he keeps doing this to them, there’s a big problem here. They shouldn’t have to be attacked like that. This is just horrible,” u/ JustJazzedToBeHere wrote.
“He will always hold it above your head. That is such an awful and cruel thing to say. A minimum of advice, but he really considers whether someone so selfish would be a good father ». [Not the A**hole]”, wrote u/KeyBox6804.
news week He reached out to u/throwra5755557 for comment.
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