Suggesting that your child go and calm down in another quiet room when his behavior is inappropriate can be useful, but always as a last resort when no other strategy has worked.
Don’t view withdrawal as a punishment
To mistakenly think that taking the child away to calm down is a punishment is to use withdrawal in the wrong way. Rather, its goal is to provide a calm and safe environment when the child is behaving inappropriately and is not receptive to other calming strategies. The child should therefore not feel humiliated or insulted.
How to use withdrawal correctly?
It is possible to ask your child to go calm down in another room, preferably between 3 and 6 years old. Before you get there, you can already give your child a deadline to change behavior, explain and discuss possible solutions, name his emotions, or make a clear reminder of your request.
If your strategies haven’t worked, state your request in a calm, soothing voice, putting yourself at his level and looking him in the eye. Install it in a room where it is comfortable and leave it for a maximum of 5 minutes without going too far away.
If he starts to play, let him do it without giving him any attention. After the withdrawal period, come and talk to him if he is calm enough, without forcing him. You can completely discuss the situation again from a distance.
Find out more: “My great book of a return to calm. Activities to tame your emotions” by Louison Nielman and Thierry Manes.
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