A mother with her child on the streets of Shanghai on February 24, 2022. afp_tickers
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–This content was published on March 20, 2022 – 08:32
(AFP)
A single mother, Li Meng raises her two-year-old daughter alone in Shanghai. But to society and the state in China, where births out of wedlock are frowned upon, she is almost a second-class citizen.
Like her, millions of women face condescending, even contemptuous, looks on a daily basis. They also suffer economic discrimination: only married women can benefit from social benefits linked to maternity.
When she became pregnant, Li Meng decided to have the child, despite her father’s abandonment and the precarious life that awaited her.
Since she’s not married, she couldn’t even take maternity leave. Her only possible option was to leave her job in real estate to take care of her baby.
“A lot of people wanted to dissuade me (from giving birth). My mother told me I was crazy,” recalls Li Meng, who uses a false name so as not to be further stigmatized.
“For her, it was unacceptable in China for a traditional family like ours,” he adds.
Since 2016, China has relaxed its birth control policy to reverse the drop in the birth rate that threatens its economic development.
Now couples can have up to three children, but maternity leave and pregnancy-related medical coverage are reserved for married women.
Li Meng is not resigned. To assert her rights, she embarked on an exhausting administrative journey that took her from office to office.
“But it’s like they passed the hot potato,” he laments.
Faced with repeated rejections by the administration, Li Meng filed an appeal with the courts.
– Hostility –
China has more than 19 million single mothers, including those who are divorced or widowed, according to a report published in 2019 by a government-linked research institute.
All of them are in a legal vacuum, says Dong Xiaoying, a lawyer at the origin of a support network that advises them online.
“The law does not say that having a child out of wedlock is illegal (…) But it does not explicitly say that it is legal,” he says.
The fight is not only administrative. Many single mothers must fight against social animosity.
As a reflection of this situation, in 2017, the Ministry of Health judged that births outside of marriage were “against public order and good customs”.
When Wang Ruixi expressed her pride in raising her daughter alone online last year, she had to endure a deluge of insults. The woman left China and now lives in Europe.
“I can bear discrimination and insults,” he explains. “But I don’t want my daughter to grow up in such an environment,” she adds.
There have been, however, some improvements. Since 2016, children in single-parent families can finally obtain a “hukou”, the civil status book necessary in China to access public services such as education and health coverage.
– “It has been useless” –
Another element that can contribute to changing the gaze of power is the drop in the birth rate, which last year reached its lowest level in decades.
Condemning these mothers to shame can lead unmarried and pregnant women to abort, aggravating the birth problem.
Another single mother from Shanghai, Yu, who does not give her first name, has a two-year-old son and has also been in a fight with the administration.
“Everything I’ve done has been for nothing,” he sighs.
The authorities even called his boss to complain about his insistence.
“We must fight for our rights. That way, at least, we won’t have regrets,” he declares.
Many women are looking forward to the family story of Sino-American freestyle skier Eileen Gu, who caused a stir in China last month with her two gold and one bronze medals at the Beijing Olympics.
Chinese media quickly took notice of her mother Yan Gu, who raised her daughter alone.
Suddenly, social networks seemed to become aware of evidence: single mothers can also educate their children to be successful in life.
For lawyer Dong Xiaoying, mentalities progress, albeit slowly.
“But it’s impossible to change everything in one day,” he says.
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