Gerry Crane had only been a music teacher for three years at Byron Center High School outside Grand Rapids, Michigan, but his impact on that western community was long-lasting.
Crane led the school band to a regional award, and in his last end-of-the-year performance review, William Skilling, the school principal said Crane was a good role model and “one of our best teachers in the staff”. That was in June 1995.
A year later Crane resigned. Because when news of her engagement ceremony with her partner Randy Block began to circulate in the conservative religious community, hundreds of people showed up at school board meetings demanding the firing of “one of our best staff teachers.”
Brochures were posted in church cars “warning” parishioners that there was a gay teacher in their public school. Ultimately, the bullying not only forced Crane to abandon his career, it contributed to his death. The forensic pathologist who performed the autopsy said stress was likely a contributing factor to the heart attack that killed him in January 1997.
This was the community where I started writing about LGBTQ equality in 1998.
And this is where I received my first death threat for doing so, and the threats have not stopped.
So when I saw that the story of the Las Vegas player, Carl Nassib, coming out of the closet, was received by many people on social networks with a “who cares?”, I found it outrageous.
Not because for 23 years I’ve received a constant stream of reminders of the kinds of people who do care. But because I remember that when I was interviewed for a job at the local newspaper, one of the editors told me that my gay status would not be a problem. He was referring to the wording, of course. But I didn’t live in the newsroom. He lived about 10 miles from where Crane taught, five miles from where his engagement ceremony was held, and less than two miles from the hospital where he died.
Imagine that time: “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” was being boycotted, and President Clinton had pushed the Defense Department’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy and signed the Defense of Marriage Act. However, I was told that my being gay was not going to be a problem, as if working at the newspaper isolated me from the rest of the world.
Now I understand why many people say it. They want to express their support, they want to be inclusive. One way to show his support was the way Nassib’s jersey quickly became one of the best-selling in the league. But the truth is that saying “who cares” about Nassib’s revelation in a year in which more than 250 anti-LGBTQ bills have been introduced across the country is not a statement, it is an insult.
It’s a frivolous attempt to shine a light on when all it does is reveal the privilege that the person forgot to leave behind on their path to LGBTQ support. Pride flags don’t fly everywhere in June. There are still many places in this country where you can lose your job because you are LGBTQ, just like Crane in 1996.
New laws prohibit trans youth from playing sports, and the Supreme Court ruled in favor of discrimination against same-sex parents less than a week ago.
Trying to frame Nassib’s or anyone else’s coming out story without this context is like putting an 8×10 photo into a 5×7 frame. To appreciate the impact, you have to recognize the conditions. Say “who cares?” to someone coming out is the equivalent of saying “I don’t see the color” while elected officials draft voting restriction bills that disproportionately harm people of color.
Last year, the Trevor Project, a nonprofit organization dedicated to youth crisis and suicide prevention, conducted a survey that revealed that 40% of LGBTQ youth “seriously considered” suicide. Nassib said representation and visibility are crucial in his ad and pledged $ 100,000 to Project Trevor to help save lives.
Asking “who cares?” With so many LGBTQ youth considering suicide it suggests that some of these people have mistaken indifference for silent support. Indifference asks “who cares?” Allianceism provides the answer.
I never had a chance to meet Gerry Crane, but I think about him a lot. The persecution, the pressure to remove him despite being hailed as a great teacher, is heartbreaking.
In many ways, that part of the country has changed quite a bit in terms of attitudes and legal protections for the LGBTQ community. But when you consider that one of the first things Betsy DeVos, who is also from West Michigan, did as Secretary of Education was to go against transgender students, it reminds one of what hasn’t changed.
It reminds you of what so many LGBTQ people – both young and old – fear coming out of the closet. Be a target. Be dehumanized. Die.
Makes one wonder how anyone can see Nassib as anything other than brave. Yes, as a wealthy white man in America, you have resources that others do not. But that doesn’t mean coming out of the closet and being one is easy for him or anyone else.
How could it be when so many elected officials continue to pursue our rights and some of our allies use the “who cares?” like a wrong scream?
To read this note in Spanish click here
@LZGranderson
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