The sister
The ultimate break is caused by a simple sentence: “More people went stupid than died from Corona.” This is what Ms. Brooren’s younger sister wrote in her status message on WhatsApp in September 2020. Ms. Brooren lives in Düsseldorf, her sister in Switzerland. The two have “not an incredibly close, but a sisterly relationship,” says Brooren on the phone. It seemed out of the question that if there was a difference of opinion one would not break off contact immediately.
The corona pandemic is changing that. “My sister denied the existence of the corona virus from the start. Already, or even still, when the army in Bergamo transported the corpses of the corona dead in trucks because there were so many,” reports Brooren. You can still hear her helplessness about her sister’s behavior: “She never wanted to tell me why she thinks that way. She didn’t get into any discussion.” The two avoid the topic.
Then the above mentioned sentence appears in the status message. Ms. Brooren can’t accept it like that. “Why do you insult people who think differently?” she writes to her sister on WhatsApp – who then breaks off contact.
It was six months ago, and the sisters have not spoken to each other since then. “To be honest, I don’t really feel like approaching her anymore. I have come to terms with it for the moment,” concludes Ms. Brooren – she sounds resigned.
It is not uncommon for the lockdown measures to lead to arguments – also between friends
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The best friend
It’s hard for Marie not to see her best friend, not to hear from him. Marie is actually called differently, but she wants to keep her real name and that of her best friend anonymous. She hopes that the relationship may straighten out in the future.
“I miss him, we saw each other three or four times a week before we broke off contact and talked every day.” Two months ago she “lost” him, as Marie calls it. Lost in a conspiracy belief she doesn’t share.
Marie describes her closest friend as someone who is skeptical of the state and the federal government. During the corona pandemic, this skepticism is growing. Marie doesn’t share all of his attitudes, but the two can always talk to each other. Until November 2020.
Marie has a phase in which she feels down. The winter, the darkness and the second lockdown of 2020 weigh on her. When she calls her boyfriend, she hopes for support. But he reacts differently than usual.
“It’s your fault if you let yourself be pulled down by a fake, you should live your life the way you did before,” quotes Marie from the phone call with him. He claims that Corona does not exist and is actually a maneuver by the federal government.
“I noticed that I couldn’t handle that,” says Marie. She writes that to him too. And that she doesn’t want any contact at first. His answer to this comes promptly: “Not everyone reaches the truth at the same pace.”
The work colleague
Esther Waßmuth is a nurse, N. is a nurse. Esther doesn’t give N’s full name, he doesn’t know that she tells us about the friendship. The two get to know each other in 2005 while an aid organization was working abroad in Pakistan. They stay in contact afterwards and in the following years they work together again and again in extreme situations.
“Unconventional thinker” demo in Leipzig: Corona divides society – and destroys friendships
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“Our medical ambulance collapsed during the earthquake, the roof. Just before we were in the building,” recalls Esther. “We bibbled, howled and laughed together. We prayed that we would stay healthy and unharmed.”
After another relief mission, N. stays in Pakistan and uses donations to build a school there. He and Esther regularly exchange information on Facebook.
With the start of the corona pandemic, N. posts how hard Corona is hitting some poor families in Pakistan and that fewer aid supplies are arriving. More and more posts follow that make Esther sit up and take notice. Things like: “The federal government has demonstrably lied about Corona” or “Recognize the difference between a pandemic and a fake pandemic”. N. still lives in Pakistan, he mainly gets information about the corona pandemic via YouTube. “Watching less mainstream media helps,” he advises Esther.
“If it were a buddy from my environment here, I might say” Hey, are you crazy ?! “And maybe we wouldn’t be friends afterwards. But it’s different here,” she says. You can feel that she doesn’t want to lose N. Therefore, she does not “go into every absurd comparison, such as between protective masks and the Hitler salute”, but only what she can clearly reveal as false information. That doesn’t change N’s attitude, but Esther doesn’t want to give up – not yet.
What to do if someone drifts?
All three cases are similar to those that the Berlin initiative “The golden aluminum hat” gets on the table every day. The people behind the initiative advise people who have lost family members or friends to conspiracy ideologies or are in danger of losing them. They keep being asked: What can I do to help the other person find their way back?
“I wish there was a magic bullet. No way: do it, turn the crank here and press the button. Unfortunately, that is not the case,” explains Mirko Bode from “Der Goldene Aluhut”. “Sometimes these are highly individual inquiries, because the background that the people or their relatives have is always completely different.” Bode reports on people who have invested time and money; in the worst case, they have lost a job or ruined a marriage.
Sometimes it only helps to keep your distance to protect yourself. In order to ‘bring someone back’, a prerequisite must first be met, explains Bode: “It’s a bit like an alcoholic – if he notices he has a problem, only then can you try to help him. And that’s similar For those who believe in conspiracies. First of all, it is important to give him an environment that is also forgiving. Then it is important to make the person feel that to be wrong is human. ” From there, some loved ones would come together again.
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