Review: XIII Remake – Accident Number

XIII Remake is a reimagined comic action shooter from the original 2003 game. Developed and published by Ubisoft at the time. This time developed by PlayMagic and published by Microids. How does the fork stick in its stem?

To be fair, I don’t have any nostalgic feelings about XIII in any form. I am not familiar with the comic book series and I never played the original game on the Playstation 2 or Gamecube. I don’t really feel that this is necessary, because the remake also feels like a Playstation 2 game. Let’s dive into XIII Remake and everything that goes wrong in this ‘action packed’ shooter.

It looks like Fortnite

I feel like I’m missing the most important drive to let this game captivate me. It seems as if this game lies deep with the fans and that the nostalgia feeling with the original game is just as high as with Ocarina of Time for many players. After some superficial research, I kind of saw the game’s appeal about 17 years ago. An attractive cartoon character-like drawing style that hides the technical limits of 17 years ago a bit. Paired with typical comic book action and you’ll have an entertaining few hours. That might have been very cool, new and impressive 17 years ago. Visual animations and pop-ups as if you were playing a comic book.

17 years later, this still has some use in the XIII Remake. Only now it looks more like Fortnite than a comic book. Graphically it does not look impressive, but on the other hand it is not unique, beautiful or artistic either. If you were to say this was the same Playstation 2 game, but in a higher resolution, I would believe you too. It may have been cool then, but not anymore.

Hank Moody

The only reason I was even a little curious to get started with the XIII Remake is David Duchovny. We all know him as Fox Mulder from the X-Files, but I mostly know him as Hank Moody from the great Californication series. I’ve watched that series about 7 times again and regularly use his famous ‘madafakaaaa!’, Which he addresses to Charlie. So you could say that the series has left some impression. When I heard that David Duchovny was the voice actor for XIII, the game’s protagonist, I was thrilled.

I got a bit wary after seeing the trailer. The sentences he spoke were very calm, I know him from his reading sections from the Californication series, but it did not really fit the images I saw. A bad mix of dialogue with action images, I thought. But unfortunately, even in-game his sentences don’t feel quite right, as if they are misplaced. As if David has spoken the sentences without any idea what the context is, or what situation he is in.

Physically nauseous

Something the XIII Remake does very well, and this is only the second game that has managed to do it, is to literally make me feel physically nauseous. After about half an hour of playing I started to get nauseous and at first I thought this was a coincidence. The very same thing happened the next day. I got nauseous and after playing a little longer I got a headache. For those who are interested, the only other game that managed to do this was Eve Valkyrie, a VR game in which after a few rounds of flying you have no idea what is in front or behind, this made my brain run a bit because they had no idea how to keep me in balance.

I think I also know very well how XIII Remake could have made me physically sick. The game is technically a mess. Frame learning is not an exception, but a constant factor. With every movement, a lot going on or not, the frames do not run smoothly and you see stuttering in the image. Every second, every time you move or something moves in the image. In addition, the game is also not very stable and the frames dip if more than two enemies are present at the same time. The game does not play very smoothly either, which makes the gunplay in itself very stiff and uncomfortable. Don’t worry, because enemies aren’t very smart in the XIII Remake.

Gameplay

The game plays like an old-fashioned First Person Shooter. You play through levels and in the levels you have minimal freedom of movement, but enough options to take out enemies. There are different types of weapons and items to use. Stealth is an option, but it doesn’t work very well and it doesn’t get rewarded at all. Enemies can sometimes see you with their backs to you, but it is not consistent. Furthermore, the AI ​​is not very smart and they often stand in a group with a group while they may or may not shoot at you. Even with the game on ‘Hard’ you don’t have to worry much. Enemy AI is even dumber than the AI ​​in Call of Duty.

Verdict

I really gave it a fair shot, but unfortunately. There’s nothing in the XIII Remake that gets me even mildly excited. Technically the game goes completely in the soup, which makes me wonder how this could ever have come through the QA. There is little, or rather nothing at all really remade in this XIII Remake. XIII could have stayed better in 2003. Do you want to experience it again? Then wait for the Re-Remake.