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No cozy beer evenings in the pub, no festival summer and no lively house parties. You noticed, corona has quite a bit of influence on friendships. You may see your friends less, but at least you see them in a different way. We are much more online: even our aperos are becoming virtual.
A new study conducted by Snapchat in collaboration with friendship experts shows that corona affects friendships. A quarter of the respondents confirm that, 53% of them think that they and their friends are less close. Others say they feel lonely.
“Corona is very interesting when it comes to the way it affects us socially,” says Beate Volker, sociologist and friendship expert. “We are now very dependent on online contact, but the ‘real’ contact cannot be replaced. Nowadays you can do a lot with technology, but we all yearn for offline contact. ” However, she acknowledges that online communication is very important now: “If we hadn’t had that during this crisis, it would have been totally disastrous.”
The research also shows that our contact is more via online channels. More than half of Dutch friends (51%) now have more digital contact with each other, for 30% of them these conversations are even more in-depth than before.
“Any relationship you choose yourself”
Friendships are indeed very important to us, says the sociologist. “They are actually the only relationships in our life, besides love relationships, that we choose ourselves. You get your colleagues and neighbors, you have your family. But friends are the only people you choose and go with. ” According to Volker, friendships are timeless. No matter how far back in history we go, there have always been indications of friendly relationships outside the family sphere. “That shows that it is of immense importance to us.”
Contact is important in maintaining a friendship, but quality is more valuable than quantity, she says. “A foundation of trust is the most important thing in a friendship. You can be yourself with them and you feel that you are allowed to. There is no way judgement. You assume that the person wants to see you as you are, and you want the best for each other. ”
How many contact friends need differs: some people want to see each other several times a week, others need contact once a month or once every two months. However, 34% of the Dutch people surveyed in the survey indicate that they would like friends to contact them more often.
Easy to restore
In addition, it appears that 81% of the Dutch have a diluted friendship. A large majority (64%) would prefer to revive that friendship. And that is easy, Volker explains. “That’s the great thing about friendships: they are easy to restore. The end is often unclear. In a love affair you know exactly when it is ready, then it is over. But friendships that water down have a less clear line of demarcation, ”she says.
“Only a very small proportion of friendships, less than 5%, are broken by a big fight.” So many more relationships between friends are watering down. This also offers advantages: it is therefore quite easy to approach someone to restore the friendship. “Take a look at your address pants or contact list, and think about who you haven’t spoken to in a while. If you see someone you really want to know how they are doing, send them a message! The chance that they are just as enthusiastic as you – especially during the corona crisis – is very high. ”
If you want to restore such a watered-down friendship, send for example a photo of you together. 42% of the Snapchat survey respondents think that’s a good way to get back in touch. A photo with a shared memory is also doing well (40%), and a third think sending a funny meme or GIF will work well.
Lonely because of corona
In addition to watered-down friendships and virtual contact, corona also brings loneliness. Worldwide, 66% of the respondents sometimes feel lonely. This includes young people, who often have more than enough friends. But it is understandable that the current situation makes you feel more in your own bubble: “Friends who are a little further away from you, you see less. But it is precisely those friendships that are important to you. Because they are a bit further away from you, they have different insights and they look at things differently. Staying in your own bubble over and over can cause you some close minded is becoming. That’s pretty worrisome, closing that bubble. You feel less connected to a larger whole, ”says sociologist Volker.
The key when you feel lonely? Take steps outside your comfort zone and actively connect with people. Call someone extra or send them a message. “Don’t wait for the other to become active, but take that step yourself. Everyone likes a personal conversation. ”
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