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Jokes are a great way to understand New York and New Yorkers! I offer you 5 jokes that feature New Yorkers… You will discover that, if the French like to make fun of Belgians, and vice versa, Americans love to make fun of New Yorkers… Who likes to chastise well? ????
The wealthy New Yorker and the bank
- A wealthy New Yorker walks into a Wall Street bank and asks to take out a small loan. She indicates the amount and specifies that she intends to reimburse within 2 weeks. The bank manager then submits a whole series of documents to him to complete. The New Yorker is in a hurry and, to get it over with as soon as possible, she offers to leave her Rolls as collateral. The manager accepts, grants the loan and collects the keys to the car.
- Two weeks later, the New Yorker returns and repays her small loan, with very small interest. In the meantime, the manager had discovered that she was a client at Chase Manhattan Bank and that she was the head of a formidable fortune.
- As he hands her back the keys to the Rolls, the manager questions her, perplexed: “Madam, can I ask you why you insisted on taking out this small loan in our establishment?” “.
- The New Yorker replies: “I went on vacation for 2 weeks and needed a safe and free place to park my Rolls. Where can you find this in New York? “.
At the restaurant
- A Russian, a Frenchman and a New Yorker have dinner together in a london restaurant. When presenting the menu, the waiter is embarrassed: “I’m sorry but we are out of meat due to a shortage”.
- The Russian asks: “What is meat?” “
- Frenchman: “What’s a shortage?” “
- The New Yorker: What’s ‘I’m sorry’?
At the entrance of paradise
- A priest officiating at St. Patrick’s Cathedral dies. He immediately ascends to heaven and arrives at the entrance to paradise. In front of him, another man waits. He is badly combed, badly dressed, badly awake and swears a few words, stamping impatiently.
- God suddenly appears and, in a deep voice, questions this poor man: “What have you been doing all your life? “.
- The man replies: “I was a taxi driver in New York”.
- God immediately retorts: “Take this toga embroidered with gold and enter the kingdom of heaven”.
- God then addresses the priest: “What have you been doing all your life? “.
- The priest replies, intimidated: “Lord, I am a priest and I have spent 50 years teaching your commandments to the faithful of my parish in New York”.
- God continues: “Take this cotton loincloth and enter the kingdom of heaven”.
- The priest widens his eyes and dares to ask: “Sorry Lord, but how is it that this rude taxi driver received a golden embroidered toga when I dedicated my life to your service and I only receive” a modest cotton loincloth? “
- God: “We are talking about the results, my son, the results… While you were preaching on St. Patrick’s Day, people were sleeping in their chairs and tourists were taking pictures. Whereas, when this taxi driver was driving, people were really praying! “
An expedition to the Amazon
- An Englishman, a Frenchman and a New Yorker embark on an expedition to the borders of the Amazon rainforest. They walk for days and days and eventually get lost. While trying to find their way back to civilization, an Amazonian tribe comes upon them. In a few minutes, they are tied up and transported to the village.
- The chief receives them and thunders with a loud voice: “You have profaned our sacred land and we are going to impose the sentence on you: death. Then we will skin you and your skin will be used to build our canoes ”. The chef continues: “However, before you get your skin back, I offer you to choose how you want to die! “
- The Englishman then replies: “I choose the revolver!” “. He shouts “God save the Queen”. Bang! The Englishman dies.
- The Frenchman answered in turn: “I choose the poison”. He shouts “Vive la France”, drinks the poison and dies.
- Then comes the turn of the New Yorker: “I choose the fork”. He grabs a fork and stabs himself furiously all over the place. Blood spurts out from all the holes. And the New Yorker yells, “Now good luck with your canoe! “
By car Simon …
- Four Americans are on their way to Las Vegas. One is from New York, the other from Georgia, the other from Nebraska and the last from Florida.
- After several hours of driving, Simon, from Nebraska, opens his bag, suddenly lowers his window and throws corn on the cob out the window.
- ” But what are you doing ? The others ask.
- “In Nebraska, wherever you look, there’s corn everywhere,” Simon replies. “So now that I’m going on vacation, I don’t want to see a single ear of corn the whole trip.”
- Georgie’s American is also rummaging in the bag. “You are right,” he exclaims. “We in Georgia have peaches everywhere. I can’t take any more of these peaches! “. And he throws the peaches he had in his bag out the window.
- The American from Florida then opens his door and sends the New Yorker out.
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