“If you have been together for 32 years, you have seen all the ugly things in each other. Yet for me, Coby is still the most beautiful. She has the same sparkle in her eyes as when she was 28. Her blonde hair is gray, my black curls have disappeared and our belts have moved up three holes.
Yet we are still the same as when we first took a walk through the forest. It wasn’t until our fifth date that I dared to kiss her. “Hey hey, finally,” she said and that made me laugh terribly. Apparently we had both been too careful.”
“My mates laughed at me at the time because I had sent a letter to the newspaper. But I thought: I just want a girlfriend. I wasn’t the going out type at that time and I wanted to find someone who also had serious intentions. Previously I had I have a friend with whom it was fun, but that girl also wanted to give ski lessons in Austria and go away for five days during Carnival. That’s fine, but not for me.”
Wonderful petty-bourgeois existence
“I wanted to build together. House-tree-animal and spend three weeks on the beach in the summer. No fuss, just fun. Coby and I have a wonderful petty-bourgeois existence. We have lived in the same house for 28 years, our children are here born and fledged, and we share the same group of friends.
We go out to eat once a month, but other than that, nothing crazy. Together on the couch, with a pot of tea and a beer at the weekend, that’s all we really need.”
“Then we watch Farmer Wants a Woman, B&B Full of Love and later MAFS again. Wonderful. But you know what strikes me? People expect so much from love these days, mainly from their partner. A man has to be strong, take charge, be funny and spontaneous, but also providing support and being able to talk well.
Women should above all have a life of their own, lots of friends and a job. I see it in my children too. They want to keep everything independent and break every relationship because they miss the connection. Do you think it’s crazy? If you guard your own garden like this, no one will step through the gate.”
Talk it out
“One wrong comment and they call it a red flag. Guys, just do your best for each other. And if it’s a bumblebee, then talk it out. It’s that simple. Coby and I won’t go to sleep until we’ve talked everything out.” I learned that from my father: ‘If you go to sleep sour, you wake up feeling bad,’ he always said.
But why would you? You love each other, right? I don’t want Coby talking about anything without me knowing. Or that she feels bad or is angry. Just throw it out there and I’ll do the same. Nine times out of ten it turns out to be much less bad than it feels in your head.”
“But you have to want to hear it, and I have to say that Coby really taught me that. I was a lot more stubborn when we first met. I now know that she is usually right. And I admit that.” Now talk to me!’, she shouted when we had a difference of opinion. I didn’t get that from home, but she was able to teach me that. We want to have a good time together.”
Manageable dreams
“With the emphasis on ‘together’. In those shows on television it is mainly about me, me and me. My B&B, my farm, my world trip, my dreams. Coby and I have dreams together and they are very manageable.
A new caravan, for when we both retire. A weekend with the group of friends in a house in Drenthe. That the grape plant is finally producing grapes and that our children will both have a beautiful wedding. We have been saving for this for twenty years now, so it will not be our fault.”
Wanted: Love Lessons
For the Love Lessons section on RTL News Lifestyle we are looking for beautiful, vulnerable, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with your hand in your own bosom. In the end, did you turn out to be the one with a fear of commitment? Should you never have emigrated for love or did a blended family prove to be an illusion after all? Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you all about it. You can tell anonymously. Email to: hanneke.mijnster@rtl.nl.
2023-12-13 19:36:45
#Albert #People #expect #love #days
