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Sometimes you hear a name in football and you know that player is destined for greatness. George Best, Cristiano Ronaldo, Zinedine Zidane, Lionel Messi, Ronaldinho.
But sometimes you can’t help but giggle at the sound of the likes of Jizz Hornkamp, Rod Fanni and Nortei Nortey. These players will also stand the test of time to become immortals in the sport – albeit probably a little less for talent alone.
Here, Daily Star Sport profiles some of the biggest football names of all time.
Jan Vennegoor von Hesselink
Let’s all drink, drink, drink… the first name on everyone’s greatest list of footballer names is former Celtic striker Vennegoor of Hesselink. A kit men’s nightmare throughout his career, Jan is known far and wide in the sporting world.
Hesselink’s Jan Vennegoor remains a cult hero (Image: Getty Images) Stefan Kuntz
The current Turkey boss is being vilified in England after playing a huge role at Euro 1996 helping Germany knock out the Three Lions. At the same tournament there was an unfortunate comment from John Motson – perhaps a little too bold in expressing his feelings for the striker.
Jizz Hornkamp
The promising Dutch striker went viral in 2021 when Hornkamp pumped four goals in just 34 minutes against Excelsior in the Eredivisie. That’s all right, Hornkamp.
Read more related articles Read more related articles Danny Drinkwater
Drinkwater is not only a footballer, but also a good guide on a summer’s day. He has kept dealing with the skin on his teeth in the Championship on loan from Chelsea.
Rod Fanni Rod Fanni was best known for his two spells in Marseille (Image: Icon Sport via Getty Images)
Fanni was on the verge of moving to the Premier League in his prime, where Newcastle, Everton and West Ham were linked. Unfortunately, a transfer didn’t go through, depriving us all of a chance to hear Martin Tyler say his name on Sky Sports.
Nortei Nortey
The former Chelsea trainee had his best days at Dover Athletic where he made 77 appearances while now pursuing his career in the United States. Despite his nickname, the midfielder is known for his shrewd professionalism.
Paul Dickow
His parents were either clueless or extremely cruel, while the forward’s school days must have been a nightmare. Dickov enjoyed a somewhat journeyman career at Manchester City, Leicester, Blackburn and Leeds.
Danny Shittu
The former Nigeria international has had an interesting introduction to football after dashed university plans to study computer science. Shittu wrote to over 90 clubs asking for a trial, which Charlton eventually took on board.
Despite the name, Danny Shittu forged a decent career in the Premier League and Championship (Image: Corbis via Getty Images) Milan Fukal
The former Czech international played most of his career at various clubs in his country, while a move to England in 2007 fell through and Fukal fell into oblivion. Sounds right…
Mark de Mann
It really was the Belgian’s destiny to play as a defender and even play five games for his country. Mark must have been one of the easiest players to train.
Read more Related articles Read more Related articles Marvelous Nakamba
Sounding more like a magic trick than a footballer, Nakamba currently plies his trade for Aston Villa, having enjoyed an injury-plagued season so far.
David Seaman David Seaman was a specialist at keeping balls off the net (Picture: Getty Images)
Known for being busy between the posts, Seaman had a long Premier League career with Arsenal and City. Outside of football, Seaman had three wives and four children.
Juankar
The 32-year-old made one appearance for Real Madrid in 2010, coming on as a substitute in a 6-1 win over Los Blancos at the Bernabeu with ten minutes remaining. We can only assume that we just round off a great day for the fans.
Creedence Clearwater Couto
Couto’s parents were such huge fans of the band that they thought their son should carry that burden throughout his life. He has said: “People often think it’s a nickname, but it’s not. It’s my real name and it’s on my birth certificate.”
Franklin Daddys Boy Nyenetue
The Liberian striker, a rising striker who has made a name for himself in Norway for more than one reason, has revealed his middle name was adopted at the age of three when he moved to Scandinavia.
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