[이상직 변호사의 창의와 혁신] 〈44〉Addiction to ‘self-help books’ ruins innovation

[이상직 변호사의 창의와 혁신] 〈44〉Addiction to ‘self-help books’ ruins innovation

Publication date: 2024-11-11 16:00 Updated: 2024-11-11 08:46

Lee Sang-jik, attorney at Pacific Law Firm (author of ‘Digital Living’)

There is a machine repairman. I suffered from heavy work. They requested that working hours be lowered or additional manpower be added. What did the boss do? His request was rejected. Instead, he was given the title of manager and a private office. He worked hard again because he felt respected. Does that sound plausible? This is an anecdote from Dale Carnegie’s bestseller ‘Human Relations‘.

Have you ever written an official letter to send to someone? The first sentence usually begins politely with ‘I wish your company (or you) great success.’ However, in the next sentence, he changes his mind and sets out his demands. They threaten to file criminal charges and claim compensation if they do not comply. Is there any reason to write the first sentence so pretentiously? Because of that sentence, it is unlikely that the other person will be moved to comply with the request. The origin of that first sentence also came from Carnegie’s advice.

He taught me a lot. If you want honey, don’t kick the beehive. Stimulate the other person’s desires. Make people like you Make a good impression, remember their name, and grab their attention. Avoid arguments and don’t make enemies. Start the conversation by first acknowledging the other person’s strengths and weaknesses. State your mistakes first. Do not give orders or teach. Respect the other person’s face. Let’s say you are tasked with taking off a traveler’s thick coat. Harsh words and actions that tell you to take off your clothes are not effective. The weather should make you feel hot. Create an environment that feels like a banquet hall or living room where it would be awkward to wear a coat. If you want to change someone, don’t tell them they’re wrong, but give them the opportunity to change themselves. You need to get the other person excited to talk and express empathy often. Make the other person feel like they came up with the important idea first. If you 100% overwhelm the other person with logic, persuasion will fail. Logically, it makes sense, but in itself it feels unpleasant. You only need to convince 70%. The rest must be passed on as if the other party had thought about it and thought of it on their own. Carnegie aroused much sympathy by emphasizing self-development as a tool in the struggle for survival. There is no cost to practice it except for the cost of the book. This is general advice from someone who is not related to me, so there is no pressure.

Illustrated by Lee So-yeon

I feel uncomfortable when I receive advice at school and work. This is true even if the advice is correct. I feel like I am being subjected to negative evaluations or prejudices. It is the worst if it is directly related to compensation such as salary. Why is advice uncomfortable? This is because I do not trust that the school (teacher) and company (boss) are for me. In a society without trust, form is more important than substance. People are focused on building up their ‘specs’. To receive peer evaluation, you are flattering your superiors and being kind to your subordinates. It is the era of the ‘tormented and tired self’. Self-help books teach individuals how to subordinate themselves to an organization and cleverly overtake their competitors. It is important to distinguish right from wrong and move in the right direction, but they neglect it and follow the trend. They tell us to say no, but actually teach us how to say yes. We reject the absurd, the unexpected, and the unusual. By telling people to imitate the creativity of successful people, they ultimately encourage imitation. Even advice to think and act differently from others still leads to the same thoughts and actions. Formal self-development may provide psychological comfort, but it ends up wasting time and life.

What should I do? The more competitive the society, the more you must create and protect your own strong self and thoughts. You must find your own unique ideas and values ​​and reveal them to the world. Of course, self-development has prerequisites. It is trust in the organization and people, consideration, and faith in oneself. Without it, it ends up being selfish and manipulative, and it bruises and sickens not only the individual but also the organization and the world.

What would I do if I were a machine repairman? Do not go beyond the title of manager and a private office. This is because the sincerity is not visible. Self-development is a shortcut to innovation when trust, consideration, and faith are key assets.

Lee Sang-jik, attorney at Pacific Law Firm (author of ‘Digital Living’)